wishful thinking

( Clickie here to read more, if ye didn't already know that. )

A girl who was in my year and class and group at school went missing on Friday night. They found her body just across the river. Apparently the prime suspect is a man who I've regarded as something like a brother to me. I spoke to him not long ago, saw him when I was getting fuel and we parked our cars near each other and sat in the service station for about an hour and just talked. Murder in a town of 6,000... I think they called it homicide. Whatever.

Sorry, Candace!! Happy birthday for... yesterday, was it, for you, Candace? >3 Apologies. <333333

Hello. Um, so I had a car accident on Wednesday. I survived with nary a scratch, except for a bruise on my foot; missed the big tree - two - that would've killed me by metres and instead crashed through a fence and killed a little olive tree. <.<;; My car won't be fixed for weeks, and the whole left side of the car - the passenger side, in Australia - was near enough wrecked. Lucky I survived, and the car can be fixed. We're getting another that I can use, which I feel pretty bad about, but Mum and Dad don't seem to mind since they won't have to drive me around like they are now and they figure when my brother finally starts acting a little more sensibly they can give it to him since his car's practically a death trap anyway. It happened on the way to work, so of course I had to call that day and say I couldn't...

Well. That's about it. Haha. Nothing else happening... that's it. For now.

Hiiiiii, Candace. <3

Been a while. ♥ Apologies for my shockingly long absence, but I've been trying to keep busy. Probably failing, but still.



Big news, in no particular order of importance:
* Went and redid my type, according to Jung. This time around I'm INTP - I believe last time I was INFP. I actually freaked out - I thought I'd become cold, haha. Now that I think about it, though, I've always been cold been a little more logical about emotional things... Anyway, please tell me your type. I find it scary how accurate it is about me, and I think it really tells other people all they need to know about me. Haha.

* I has a job at a bookstore. =] Good, except for the boss who I regularly finding myself resisting the urge to slaughter. One girl invited me to her birthday, though. I was... pleasantly surprised, because me and people just do not get along. I have a brilliant mask that allows me to make small talk and everything, and I think most people recognise that it's a mask subconsciously so I rarely ever get close to people. It was... weird, but nice. <3 And today a guy who looked like a cross between William Beckett from The Academy Is... and Tyson Ritter from All-American Rejects. Speaking of which...

* Going to three concerts in Melbourne in about two weeks. First one is All-American Rejects - awesome seats, front and dead centre bby. <3 Second and third are The Academy Is... and Anberlin - one is -18, the other is 18+, and we figured no one can stop us sneaking into an underage gig XD

* Joined TAI's fanclub, and now find myself in the running to get either some artwork from the Butcher or a phone call. Also, exclusive shirt, and Meet and Greets~

* Farewelled Jes. Where's your LJ updates from the first day, girl? <3

* Completed my first thingie of uni, yay. Well into my second - it's nearly finished, actually. Debating missing the third so I can go to Japan.

* My previously pregnant little sister has had a girl called Chelsea Samantha. So I'm an aunt, wtf.

* On the day I became an aunt, my aunt called me. Like, birth aunt - my mother's sister. Reminder: I have had no contact at all with any family member in the past ten years except these past two with my half-sister Melise, and didn't know any of my family except my siblings and birth mother before that, so pretty epic news.

* And I met that aunt today. <3333 She's so cute. Little, like me, and so pleased. I wish I was feeling more family-like, but I can only see them as friends right now since I feel no emotional attachment whatsoever.

* I was alone for about three weeks, and spent another two with just my brother, when Mum and Dad went ona holiday. A bit of America, up through Canada, Alaska and home via America again then Hawai'i.

* Met an up-and-coming Australian band called Short Stack and apparently managed to seriously offend one member while mildly insulting the other two in the short amount of time we were at the table. I guess it isn't often the lead gets turned down for photos, especially when he offers them in the first place. =/ Eh, didn't actually go to that place to see them anyway.



And that pretty much condenses my life since not being on LJ in one fell swoop. Except for the fact that I've been on Gaia this entire time... and am addicted. <.<;;

Hi? ;3 I miss you guys.

[P.S. - lostprophets stole a line from Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. D:< "I've seen this room and I've walked this floor". Hope you guys paid royalties.]

Dear happy little LJ, it is now 7:00 am here. I am going to sleep. =)

Who'd've thought 12 hours of nonstop studying and not sleeping all night would be a good thing for me?

Still writing frantically. Must submit all three assessments tomorrow. God, I am notoriously bad at doing this. Getting two and a half major assignments done the night before they're due?



*wants to hit her head so hard but doesn't want to damage the brain because she needs it to get this done*

Dear Justin,

Why must you be such an asshole when you don't get your way? Why must you regard yourself as the centre of this world? Why must you take well-meant, reasonably-said words from someone else the wrong way, because they don't suit what you want? Mari was in tears when she called, and she's all right now, but remember when you said you weren't going to talk to her about the relationship until holidays because of your 'large workload'? She has the same issue, dipshit. Her school was shut down over the fires and they have to work at least twice as hard to get all the work missed over that period done in time to fit with the rest of the state's curriculum. See, that's called selfishness. Pretending your problems are so much worse and no one else's could possibly be that bad - when you're reportedly cruising through your university work and she's just come back to Australia, is living with her family, and attempting Year 11 when all her friends are in Year 12.

You drive me fucking crazy sometimes, mate. I mean, I still like you and all, but you are such an asshole! I hardly even cared when you didn't talk to me for about a fucking month in Japan. I figured you'd get over it eventually (and yet, I was the one who had to call, because you wouldn't). I figured, I teased you and you got mad, so I assumed the position of wrongdoer. Even if you overreacted. Now I wonder why I bothered, when you go and throw our efforts - mine and Mari's - in our faces. You're a fucking pissy little shit, you know? You have no idea sometimes. Fucking clueless. You can't treat someone great for a while and then suddenly turn around and go off at them. Especially when it's Mari - you know she's never anything but kind, and when she says she doesn't like or want something she really, really means it. So you should've known to stop. Perhaps your relationship would've had a better chance if you'd left it for a while, acted the friend you were supposed to be, and waited until the main issue that lay between you - age, distance, school - was gone. You could've salvaged something then, okay? But yeah, I forgot. You deserve a bloody gold medal for always being the one to screw up first.

Not calling tonight. I'll wait until you're not wanting to strangle someone, or - *snort* - punch a tree. Isn't that what you usually do? Like when your school in Japan made you cut your hair? Nice, Juddy, you just put Mariko on the same level as a damn haircut that needed to happen anyway. Good thing she didn't send the text she had; as it is, she'll worry until Friday and then some more, because that's when I will call you, and she'll want to know what went on. But seriously, mate. "Sorry for caring. Hope you have a good life, bye." WTF ARGHHHH. That's what a very literate five year old would have composed, Justin. And seriously, you were in the wrong. Maybe you're accustomed to sending your female friends shots of you half-naked when you're bored - I received a few of those myself - but sending them to your ex-girlfriend, who then says she doesn't really want to see... That doesn't warrant the response you gave. Dickhead. Immature fuckwit.

There is one exceptionally sad thing about this - you always were called the woman in the relationship, because you had some reactions typical to women. This right here, this situation you've got yourself in, it sounds just like the response of every clichéd, jilted female lover the world over. I think you just lost your right to your manhood, ass.

No love right now, but still an inkling of friendship if you can succeed in pulling your head out of your ass,
Tally. >[



I have stacks of work to get done, Dad just cracked the shits and told me I'm paying the phone bill, and I'm slightly panicked. I fucking hate you Justin. The main reason for that is for my stress right now, not because of what you did. I just think this all sucks. A cry would be nice right now, but no. Must work.

I want to get two essays done today. That means starting from scratch on one, and seriously finishing tidying up the other. Because I still need to do a bunch of log entries, due on Friday. I guess I'm lucky they expect them on Friday afternoon, not morning like in high school...

That aside, Beowulf is a brilliant text. I can't seem to find anyone else who likes it, but I actually find myself preferring it over the Odyssey. I don't know, Odyssey's just too long to hold my attention until the battles, I guess.

Also, I have an appointment down at the fitness centre down the street. Mum goes and she told me to try it too, so I'll do that. Might even be fun.

And I took my Sally for a walk yesterday. LOL two cows followed us. And Sal was so well-behaved until she spotted a warren of rabbits, which I cannot blame her for chasing - and she even came back, so yeah.

And the only other thing is that I'm budgeting. I've given myself specific guidelines, and I plan to fulfill those. Like, no more than $200 on books each month, a certain amount has to go into savings each month, that, that. Yay for budgeting. I might even be able to get some places I want to go this way~ *has an ambition to do at least one lot of serious travel each year from now on*

. . . *such as in Canada*

EDIT: Happy April Fool's Day. I forgot how awesome it is to have internet during April Fool's. ROFL. Google for the Australian win, btw. ♥ Wikipedia's putting in some effort too.

Dear flist, I love you. I just feel like saying that. Even if we've pretty much never talked, or we've had some differences... I do. ♥

In other news, I will be going up north. Ironically enough, it may be that Mariko won't go, and I will. I'm trying to make sure she can go, though, even though this involves arranging her myself (I'm getting used to that, haha). I can get there for like... $330 though. That includes return. And the price got me wondering how much it would be to get back to Japan... which is around $2,500. I'M TTLY GOING BACK SOON. Got my government cash bonus, I think, since my last Centrelink payment was a whopping $1,500, so I'm keen. Definitely keen. Having money is making me look at Canada, though. Bad me. I just want to see some of you - is that so bad??

Now, to get my literature draft done for tomorrow and post it on Monday; get my Murdoch work done and in by Thursday; and get everything else done before I go northbound for Easter.


EDIT: Screw it. I wanted to go overseas some time this year; next year if that fails. What's the best time of the year to visit Canada? And are there places I can stay? ;D *needs to know where certain people live if she wants to start planning - Ontario, Toronto, etc? *hearts;*

Dear glass_metric and anyone else who reads Orson Scott Card:





According to xkcd, Bean actually sabotaged it just to give Dink the excuse to make that joke.

...I wouldn't put him past it. >D

So, amidst computer and internet failage and submitting uni work (yay! I didn't procrastinate until after the due date!) and possibly missing two birthdays (HAPPY BIRTHDAY glass_metric and ninja_butterfly, love you two~~~~~~~~♥), I feel obliged to point out the most recent of my shocking discoveries.

Recent. Hahah. This was news, like, two years ago. Why did I not know until now that Dumbledore was gay??? *wails* It breaks my heart, in a happy kind of way. Poor guy. Suddenly, I like him so much more. Yeah, didn't like him much before, especially since I kept coming across 'Dumbledore Vs. Gandalf' things where people stupidly seemed to believe Dumbledore actually stood a chance.

*/spazz*

Also: I has another cold. :(

TALK TO ME, GLASSIE.

Have just completed my first lot of university assignments ever.

Possibly also the first lot of assignments I have ever done before the due date ever.

*words cannot describe her smugness right now*

If I've missed anything, do me a favour and link me up here.

*toddles off to die peacefully*

Just ordered the most amazing dress from AsiaJam.com. Can't wait to get it. I got the blue one. Photos ttly required when I get it.

*wanted the blue Korean skirt, too, with boots if it had been possible - but it was not to be*

I miss my Japanese fashion. </3 And the cold soba and salad you could buy from the conbini...

It sort of scares me sometimes, how much I love this guy. And the fact that I find him incredibly attractive. Hahah. First time I've seen this video, though:


Not to mention talented. The best one out is probably still the piece Tim Minchin wrote for the host of one of Australia's greatest shows, Spicks and Specks:


And because you can't have Australian pride, comedy or otherwise, without a crack at the national anthem, the guy on the receiving end of the last video, Adam Hills (and wow, it is gorgeous, hilarious and hot all at once):


...*loves* Oh, and Google Video is wonderful. I can actually download videos for my iPod~


EDIT: I can't get over Tim Minchin's hair or makeup either. And where's the video of the infamous kiss between Hamish and Adam? I think it was them...

GO YOU BIG RED FIRE ENGINE.

AND.


It would appear I am going through a rare phrase of patriotism. I can't help it. Not when Australia and every other country has the shit bagged out of it. (Yes, indeed. Patriotism to an Australian is comedy in which our country and leaders are portrayed in the worst light possible. Or our accents in this case). Sorry about the big video log, guys.


EDIT AGAIN: Found it.

The poem beneath the cut below is still the most beautiful poem I have ever read in my life, and still holds the most allure for me.

( The Return of Persephone, by A.D. Hope )

Edited my profile. It was fuuuun. ♥


EDIT: Glassie? This is for you, on one condition. I want those gloves to come into a fanfiction somewhere. Somehow. >D

What? Tally tried drawing KH fanart of Axel in a kimono?!

Go on, check it out. >D It isn't fair to ask me what I was on when viewing it, however, okie~? I don't know either. Oh, and I want a tablet. Desperately. Because touchpads do nothing for my creative talents or otherwise.

On the table right now - must apply for the Responsible Service of Alcohol course being held on the 10th. More uni work, and finishing a fanfic for a certain somebody's birthday tomorrow.

That's it for now? ^^ How is everyone?


EDIT: It is somewhat embarrassing to have an electrician and his attractive young apprentice knock on your door and you are not dressed regardless of the fact that it is past midday. =( Luck and fairness do not exist, apparently.


DOUBLE EDIT: Mmm, hot cheese and Vegemite sandwiches are great when the weather is colder than it's supposed to be in March.

Yeah, I've been sort of not-on lately. Sorry.

In the sort-of-not cleaning process. Have finished my two latest purchases - Ransom My Heart, which deserves to be called a romance novel like none other; and The Wonder Spot, in which I adore the delightfully quirky heroine and how the book isn't and yet is about important stuff, and the first friend Venice and her boyfriend Hugh who I so totally want - and have a number of other books to be read, but, yeah. Best to be getting on with my university course which starts tomorrow.

Have talked with both Justin and Mariko in the past few days, in part - okay, perhaps specifically - because they have broken up. Again. And fiiiiinally, they sound happy with their decision. So I spent however long listening to Mari tell me to move to Melbourne and generally be a cute little big ditz, and Juddy moan about how he felt like it was left up to him to break it off now, and how his uni is going (God, the envy I must have emanated during that conversation haha). But now they don't have to worry about the long-distance relationship issues. Which is good, because it's pretty damn important for Mari to be serious right now, and same with Justin... and I don't feel like I'm the go-between, yay! They just told me because it was important that I knew. Yay. ^^

Dinner. More possible posting later.

Random question - do any of you guys have any unusual/limited editions of game consoles? Just curious, because I have a red/black DS and I only realised when I got back to Australia that they were limited edition here. ^^ And apart from that, there really is no other reason to ask, but, hey. ♥

*has a doctor's appointment tomorrow*

Yeah. fanfiction.net didn't post my review. Or it did. Like, two lines of it. So, good thing - really good thing - I typed most of it in Word, then. I'll put it here for you, Glassie.

( Review for Double Forte, Glassie~ )

So, now that that's actually been done and before I go on my KILL FFN MURDER SPREE I think I'd best go to bed. And, guys? If you haven't added me on facebook, maybe do it. I'm actually updating photos over there. ♥


EDIT: and lolz at two things, Glassie - one, the so-called 'spelling critic' who reviewed DF and spelled 'wonderful' wrong in their review; and two, the awesomely long review you have from someone else on there. I think I'm getting bumped down to second place there. Well, their review is about the entire story, though, so I'm all right? :3

EDIT AGAIN: oh. They also misspelled 'congratulate'. And 'the'. But well done, you certainly have some pretty damn serious readers. <3